Better late than never.
Fight Club
This movie was definitely wasted on me as a youth. Along with having zero appreciation for the twist, my adolescent teenage brain bought Tyler’s anti-material message, which can become a slippery slope into the violent anarchist rhetoric. However, that’s just scratching the surface of the ideas that Fight Club is playing with. I won’t stand before you all and deny the idea that your things end up owning you. I also believe that we, as humans, have to discover our own purpose or else we will be stuck trying to fill that hole with material possessions. I, for one, believe my purpose is to observe all this media, learn from everyone’s mistakes and rant about it atop my soapbox. Yet, as I began to watch Fight Club, I couldn’t help but feel conflicted. Most likely by design; I imagine Tyler is written to have points you would agree with, to show you the dangers of a cult of personality. One second, you have someone telling you to go find your purpose, and the next they are telling you your purpose is to create terror. Fight Club will always remain a giant iceberg of ideas hiding beneath the surface, but my ultimate takeaway will always be to go out, find your purpose, and always remember to stay humble.
Jaws (1975)
Alien used to be my go to for my favorite 70s horror, but I think we have a new kid on the block. I recently saw Jaws for the first time and was blown away at how well this film holds up. I think a lot of the effects in Alien hold up, except for the Xenomorph itself; you can kinda tell it’s a guy in a suit. Jaws doesn’t really have this problem, since they can use the water to obscure a lot of machinery that makes Jaws as terrifying as he is. You can hardly tell he’s an animatronic, especially with those creepy pitch black eyes. Combine with some light-hearted moments at sea, and Jaws is a masterclass in doing so much with so little. This will definitely be a Fourth of July staple for me. Praise be to our new god of the sea: Jaws.
Office Space (1999)
Despite being twenty-five years old, Office Space is still able to highlight how soul-sucking office work is. How draining it is to commute to an office and have the same micromanagers breathing down your neck. The film stars Peter, who realizes that his job is the source of all his unhappiness, due to some hypnotherapy gone wrong, and decides to stop going. Hijinks ensues, including finally asking out Joanna, and convincing his buddies to create a program that funnels the decimal cents the company makes into an account they control. You think a film like this would cause higher-ups at major corporations to reconsider how they do business, but when Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, got a 79 million dollar bonus despite laying off 2,500 workers, we know they won’t change. Quite frankly, we need more Miltons to burn down all of the corporate offices.
MaXXXine
For those who do not have an unhealthy obsession with horror movies like me, MaXXXine is the final movie in Ti West’s X series. The series started with X, which many tributes to being a homage to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, continues with a very Hitchcock-inspired Pearl, and wraps it up in a 80s inspired slasher with MaXXXine. In the film, the titular Maxine attempts to achieve Hollywood fame by starring in a horror movie. Her plans are upended as a serial killer’s gruesome spree interrupts Maxine’s shot at fame. The movie proudly boasts itself as a B movie with A movie ideas. Certainly agree with that statement when it comes to the 80s setting and characters, but the overall story really left me wanting more. If you were a fan of X, as I was, you certainly won’t mind spending the time to see how Maxine’s story ends, but I think you will ultimately wish you simply rewatched X. Alas, my lust for gripping horror movies is left unstated.
American Movie (1999)
I went into American Movie assuming it was a mockumentary; one where the filmmaker show how hard making a film is by having a couple of goofballs try to make their own. To my surprise, it is an earnest documentary about Mark Borchardt trying to make a short horror film in order to finance a bigger picture. First off, I think American Movie highlights what a Herculean task making a film is. There’s a scene where they have an actor smash through a cupboard door, only to realize they can’t do multiple takes because they broke the door. This film is littered with comedic errors like that. In one scene, he’s trying to get his 90-year-old uncle to give a line read, and he forces him to do thirty takes of it like he’s Stanley Kubrick. The film was also a constant reminder on how sacrifices have to be made when you’re trying to achieve your dreams. Many scenes left me questioning whether Borchardt really wanted it or not. I know I haven’t made anything groundbreaking, but to watch Borchardt waste his time getting drunk and watching the Green Bay Packers was a stark reminder to stay focused when chasing a dream. To anyone hoping to make it in movies, I heed you to take a moment and watch this film.
Longlegs
My eyes stared unblinking on the screen for the opening hour of Longlegs. I was glued to my seat as FBI Agent Lee Harker was trying to uncover how the mysterious figure Longlegs, played by Nicolas Cage, who was capable of getting inside people’s homes and get them to murder each other. The gruesome scenes shot in a wide lens style created a sense of uneasy that rivals films like Se7en and Zodiac. Nic Cage, in true Cage fashion, is putting on an eerie performance that is worth the price of admission alone.
Unfortunately, I think the film really falls apart at the end. I am not going to spoil it, but the film does abandon it’s more grounded theme and swings wildly into a Gothic fantasy angle. Imagine if John Doe, at the end of Se7en, was able to use demonic powers to summon Mills’s wife and set her ablaze right in front of him. A rather ill-fitting ending to a film that had no mystical elements to it. Some might counter my claim, by mentioning that Harker is able to read dead languages, but even that felt more grounded than the film’s ending. I still feel the movie is worth seeing for Cage’s performance alone. I say onto Longlegs, your inability to stick the landing will leave you lost and forgot in the sea of this year’s horror film.
A Quiet Place: Day One
A Quiet Place: Day One reminds me of the song Institutionalized by Suicide Tendencies. For those who aren’t a fan of punk rock, in the second verse, the singer’s sings about a moment his mom tried to get his attention. He describes himself staring off into space and not noticing his mother. When he comes to, he asks his mom for a Pepsi, but she refuses, believing him to be on drugs. The rest of the verse is him crying out that all he wanted was a Pepsi.
So why do I bring up this obscure song? Well, the majority of the events of this movie happen because our heroine, Sam, just wants some pizza. ALL SHE WANTED WAS SOME PIZZA! When the alien invasion finally hits New York, she figures it’s the best time to go get some. Many characters tell her she’s insane, but she’s already been diagnosed with cancer, accepted death, and no longer fear it.
While having a character who has accepted their own mortality is certainly a fresh take for the A Quiet Place franchise, A Quiet Place: Day One doesn’t really have anything else to offer. It is more scenes of characters trying to make as little noise as possible and creating loud distractions when the monsters, I am not calling them Death Angels, start to chase them. There’s a small scene with a queen and her eggs, but it just feels like it’s copying Aliens’s homework. Can we please just put this series to bed if you don’t have any interesting ideas for it? ALL I WANT IS SOME FRESH IDEAS FROM A QUIET PLACE UNIVERSE!
Twister (1996)
As the release date for Twisters was looming over the horizon like a tornado looking to touch down, I couldn’t help but be drawn to the original 1996 classic: Twister. Looking to compare the sequel to the original, I popped the cult classic into my PS4, looking to answer the old question: does it hold up? With the exception of the obviously dated CGI, I would say Twister has aged incredibly well. There’s a great mix of action and story. All the characters, except for the rival team, are all engaging and well written. Again, the CGI does not look great, but that’s like expecting a 58-year-old man to box and beat a young 27-year-old YouTuber. Overall, I believe Twister has certainly cemented itself as a classic disaster movie, which is more than I can say for its sequel.
Election (1999)
As I sat there watching Election, I couldn’t help but draw some comparisons to the 2016 Presidential election. Between the overqualified yet annoying female candidate, and the lunkhead who really didn’t want the job, Election will give you a good sense of déjà vu. I am sure by the time I stand atop this soapbox to talk about this film, we will all be sick of elections. When your appetite for politics returns, I urge you all to enjoy this dark comedy about a high school election gone wrong.
Cruel Intentions (1999)
To say Cruel Intentions is outside my wheelhouse is an understatement. A simple summary of the plot would make my eyes roll so hard, you would think they were symbols in a spinning slot machine. I can’t help myself thinking these are just petty vindictive people toying with each other’s lives. I almost passed on the film when I remember watching the scene where Kathryn challenges Sebastian to seduce Annette on MTV. I was in my teenage years and the scene stuck in my mind for obvious reasons. It would have been really easy for Cruel Intention to fall into the pit reserved for the smut, but I believe the strong writing and great acting, make it more than just bait for hormonal teenagers. I am not sure if I would ever choose to watch this movie over my favorite horror or action flicks, but I do not regret watching more than just the memorable MTV bits.
Twisters
Disappointment is too simple of a word for a moment like this. The trailers for this movie had me blaring Luke Comb’s “Ain’t No Love in Oklahoma” for weeks leading up the film’s release. I wanted nothing more than to turn off my brain and watch some cowboy storm chaser try to wrangle up some twisters. Unfortunately, Twisters did not deliver on this fantasy.
This film is literally weighed down with so much baggage that the upgraded CGI tornados could not lift them off the ground. Our heroine, Kate, is constantly unsure of herself because she got a team of storm chasers in college killed. She’s roped back into storm chasing by her friend but soon learns they are backed by corporate real estate, and she is constantly fighting off feelings for a rival storm chaser, Tory. All three plots continuously wrestle for screen time and leave very little time for any of the action. So many times I wished a tornado would just rip through a scene so we can be done with the tired dialogue discussing our feelings. I came here for an action movie, not a soap opera.
Look, I know movies are a team sport, so signaling out one person is incredibly reductive. However, when you look at director, Lee Issac Chung’s previous work, you can see why this film leans into the destructive nature of relationships rather than tornados. A lot of Chung’s work stems from Korean soap operas rather than action movies. It makes sense that he is more comfortable filming Kate crying rather than chasing tornados. Someone needed to come in, cut down the dialogue and add in more thrilling action scenes. Even with more realistic weather affects, Twisters is simply a light breeze compared to its original film.
Audition (1999)
Five years before Saw kick-started the torture porn genre, there was Audition, a Japanese film about a widower who decides he wants to try his hand in dating again. He talks to his friend who auditions people for movies, who set up an audition to allow him to pick out a potential girlfriend. He soon meets Asami and asks her out, only to realize he didn’t quite get what he bargained for. The film is eerie in that dream -like quality that Japanese horror is often known for. I did enjoy my time with Audition, but much like the current Saw film, I just don’t have the stomach for these torture-porn films these days. Despite not having anyone saw off their leg like Saw X, there is a scene at the end that definitely helped inspire the infamous series. So all Saw fans, I urge you to step forward, and watch this film that no doubt had a hand in crafting Jigsaw and his love of games.
The Boys: Season 4
The Boys Season 3 had a real shot of adrenaline with the introduction of Soldier Boy, played by the underrated Jensen Ackles. Without his character, I was worried Season 4 wouldn’t be able to keep up the momentum. To make matters worse, Season 4 seems eager to drop the subtlety and just say fascism has invaded the political landscape. While I certainly don’t disagree, I often feel media can get someone to change their mind if they are allowed to come to their own conclusion rather than lecturing them. However, with the showrunner looking to wrap up the series without any doubts on who is the villain, I was willing to look past the lack of subtlety. I was certainly glad I did.
Season 4 of The Boys pulls off one of my favorite twist in recent memory. Reveals that had my jaw on the floor. I remember pausing an episode just to scream “No way” at the top of my lungs. Despite all my grief with the show choosing to say the quiet part out loud, all these twists and reveals made me a fan of the show once again, and teasing a Soldier Boy return in Season 5 has me feeling like a kid in early December. Do not spoil Season 4 for yourself. The Boys will always be the best superhero property out there, and you should enjoy the splendor of the many moments within Season 4.
Oddity
I saw so many horror content creators rant and rave about how eerie this movie is. How it is so unsettling and creepy. Well, I am here to tell you that I found Oddity to be pretty underwhelming. The story revolves around a blind psychic medium trying to solve the mystery of her sister’s murder. There are a handful of creepy scenes, and the movie’s signature wooden statue is unsettling when you first see it. However, I walked out feeling like I spent my last hour and a half talking to a girl who was really into crystals and chakras, and she looks like she’s going to follow me home. It’s more weird than scary, which is a big red flag for me. Oddity is honestly a peculiar movie, but not in a way that I think makes it worth watching.
Deadpool & Wolverine
With faith restored in The Boys, my cynical skepticism turned squarely towards Deadpool & Wolverine. I had a laundry list of reasons I thought Marvel was going to ruin this film: shoehorning cameos nobody wanted, ruining the perfect ending Logan had, using this film to reset the timeline or erase Kang from previous movies, or use Deadpool and Wolverine as the official introduction of mutants into the MCU. It just seemed like a prime time for Marvel and Disney to attempt to right the ship on their own rocky journey. I also didn’t see a world where Deadpool and Wolverine could reach the heights that The Boys Season 4 left. All I can say is I am happy to be wrong on this one.
I am sure I am not at risk of spoiling this scene, but let’s say Deadpool’s opening dance number completely sold me on the tone and humor this film was going for. Even through all the jokes, Deadpool and Wolverine, not only have affection for Logan, but all of the 20th Century Fox Marvel movies. Even the bad ones. Despite being officially part of the MCU, Deadpool and Wolverine commits to being a love letter to those previous films and avoids being a messy introduction for mutants or The Fantastic Four. It will make you laugh until you hurt and stare in awe of its bloody action. Deadpool and Wolverine actually sits perfectly next to The Boys Season 4 as superhero movies that audiences, who grew up with the genre, want.
The Mummy (1999)
As the credits rolled on The Mummy, I couldn’t help but imagining myself turning to Twisters and asking why they couldn’t have been more like that movie. Wall-to-wall action. Characters intriguing enough to hope they survive, but not drowning us in exposition. The Mummy is just a fun, exciting rollercoaster action movie. Don’t forget the one-liners. Yes, the CGI looks dreadful by today’s standards, but that is like asking a streaming service to have a stable connection during a major boxing fight. It is a shame that asking movie studios to give us movies like this is like pulling teeth.
Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)
Despite preferring Pink Floyd’s Animals over The Wall, there was no doubt I was going to love the animated film about the titular album. With The Wall already being a rock opera about a man named Pink’s rise to fame, watching the album play out in this trippy animated art style was simply a joy to behold. I don’t have much else to add to this one, if you love rock music, you simply need to watch Pink Floyd’s The Wall.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
The year, 1999, was certainly one for thirsty movies. As someone who visits AMC quite frequently, I have come accustomed to the Nicole Kidman introduction to the theater. However, after watching Eyes Wide Shut, I see the intro in a very different light. For those unfamiliar with Stanley Kubrick’s final film, Eyes Wide Shut is a film about Dr. William Harford (played by Tom Cruise) and his eventful night after his wife Alice (played by Nicole Kidman) tells him about a sexual fantasy she wishes she could have with another man. Baffled with this news, Harford stumbles onto an eccentric cult orgy held by some mysterious elites. Eyes Wide Shut is very much like an onion, where you find more layers as you start peeling them back, especially when it starts asking questions about how guys and girls process their sexual fantasies. I am very glad I saw this movie, and not just because it makes me smile when I hear Nicole Kidman say, “We come to this place for magic.”