Movies with the Doomsayer – April 2024

A rapid fire review of movies I saw in April.

Monsters, Inc. (2001)

Man, what a shame it would be, to be in a world with an energy crisis.  Discover an alternative solution, only to find out corporate interest would be more willing to commit heinous atrocities before they lose an ounce of market value… right, Koch brothers?  Putting aside the dark climate change metaphors the movie has, I do hold a soft spot for Monsters, Inc.  Even without the ahead of it’s time messaging, Monsters, Inc. is Pixar flexing their movie making chops.  Great characters, creative world building and just an all around solid movie.

Baby Driver (2017)

I have said it a million times, and I will say it again: Edgar Wright does not miss.  The amount of style that on display in Baby Driver is incredible.  This movie hit me right in that feral need to drive a million miles on an open highway with stereo at full volume.  The film is just dripping with style and flare.  While there is impressive car work in Wright’s other films, like Hot Fuzz, to watch him so comfortably direct this film like he was a Fast and Furious director just showcases his directing chops.  Yes, It is a shame Kevin Spacey is in this film, but I am not sure if the allegations came to light back in 2017.  Nonetheless, if the rumors are true that Wright has been shopping around a script for Baby Driver 2, I will be first in line to get a ticket.

Monkey Man

I have to admit, I was really jet-lagged when I saw this film and fell asleep part way through.  Monkey Man was advertised as Bollywood John Wick, and unfortunately this did not live up to that hype.  Unlike John Wick, a film that quickly covers John’s backstory to allow us to get to the action, Monkey Man doles out the Kid’s backstory in a piece meal fashion.  By shrouding our character in mystery, I don’t have the same connection with him as I do John.  The movie also feels like it is dragging its feet to get to the action.  The first act contains our hero working various jobs just so he can reach higher floors of the club that he believes is connected to his tragic past.  The second act is pretty similar, except he is training at some transvestite Hindu temple.  There are a handful of good fight scenes in this film, and I certainly applaud Dev Patel for both acting and directing in his directorial debut.  However, the film feels like having to force down a plate of poorly cooked vegetables just to get to a measly dessert.

Immaculate

Religious horror fans, we need to talk.  I understand why these movies get made.  There is a lot of injustice and trauma surrounding the Catholic Church, it only feels natural people would make horror movies to deal with them.  However, these movies have become so formulaic, they have become boring.  I never get scared in these movies because I know where they are going.  Immaculate is a movie about Sydney Sweeney, who travels to a covenant in the Italian countryside, to become a nun.  Despite the picturesque scenery, strange things start happening, including Sweeney’s character having an immaculate conception.  From there, tired Catholic-inspired jump scares happen over and over until the inevitable twist happens, and while I am tempted to spoil it, it’s honestly not even worth dedicating any more brain cells to this mind-numbing film.  Fans of religious horror, you should really start standing up for yourself and demand these movies actually try something new. 

Love Lies Bleeding

One part crime family drama, another part steroid monster movie, Loves Lies Bleeding is a film about gym manager, Lou, falling for a bodybuilder named Jackie.  The two form a relationship that is continuously tested by Lou’s drug empire family and Jackie’s newly formed addiction to steroids.  I would say Love Lies Bleeding is a solid feather in A24’s brimming hat.  Even with an ending that didn’t exactly fit the grounded nature of the film, I still enjoyed and would recommend this lesbian love story.

The First Omen

I swear, I am getting déjà vu, and I am not just saying this because I saw Immaculate in the same month.  The First Omen is another religious-inspired horror film that follows the same plot as Immaculate so closely, I think one of them was copying each other’s homework.  It is more likely these two movies felt the same because these movies only have one speed.  Some people might enjoy this as it is a prequel to The Omen, but for me, that just makes it feel more lazy.  Can we just retire the tired trope of these religious horror movies?  Please stop writing stories of young nuns going to monasteries only to go on a jump scare safari.  Exercise some creativity in displaying your traumatic history with the Catholic Church. 

Drive (2011)

As I watched Drive, I couldn’t escape the idea that the plot feels like it was written by a seven-year-old: first he robs banks, now he’s a stuntman, now he’s a race car driver, now he’s back to being a getaway drive, and finally he’s a gangster.  I understand life can throw you a lot of curveballs, and films will do their best to showcase this.  However, Drive feels like it is driving from plot point to plot point while Ryan Gosling keeps a straight face.  Despite my mocking tone, I won’t say this is a bad or lazy film.  Drive certainly feels like one of those films you have to really chew on to get the full meaning out of.  If you like those movies that cause you to go down the YouTube rabbit hole of video essays on movies, I imagine Drive gives you the perfect jumping off point.

Hundreds of Beavers

If someone were to take a black and white silent comedy from the 1920s and blend it together with the antics of the Looney Tunes, Hundreds of Beavers would be pouring out of the blenderThis wacky film is about an applejack salesman who loses his whole operation and is forced into a life of fur trapping during a brutal winter.  From there, hi jinx ensue as Hundreds of Beavers pulls out every slapstick trick in the comedy book that Bugs Bunny wrote.  While I didn’t watch many Saturday morning cartoons as a kid, I imagine Hundreds of Beavers, captures that same energy.  Definitely check out this movie; this film will put a smile on your face.

Arcadian

I wonder what you do when you land Nicolas Cage in a movie like this.  I was excited to see Arcadian, a movie about Nic Cage and his two sons defending their home from an enemy that strikes in the dead of night.  Unfortunately, Cage is pretty underutilized in this film.  It feels more like a Walking Dead clone, focused on the two son’s teenage drama.  I don’t think the two young actors did a bad job, but I feel like I would rewrite the script to include more of Nic Cage if my movie was able to land such a big name.  Cage spends most of this film laying in bed after sustaining an injury trying to protect one of his sons, who stayed out too late and fell into the monster’s den.  The monsters are kinda unimpressive as well.  They are supposed to be these long, lanky black wolf-like creatures, but thanks to the power of modern CGI, they move too fast and appear more like streaks of black paint.  The only real memorable moment was when they grouped up to form a wheel and rolled down the street; which was definitely more funny than scary.  If you are looking for a Nicolas Cage horror film, go check out Color Out of Space or wait for Longlegs to come out in July.

Civil War

I will confess to openly mocking this movie before I saw it.  The concept seemed so ridiculous, I would believe the Skinamarink demon took over someone’s house before I believe in a California-Texas team up.  So how did Alex Garland pull this off?  By making Nick Offerman’s President character resemble Lex Luthor instead of Ron Swanson and not focusing too much on the political alliance of two radically opposite states.  The President committed so many atrocities on domestic soil, two of our larger states had no choice but to band together.  While I wish Civil War dug a little deeper into the horrors the President committed, it does paint the Texas-California alliance as a last ditch effort to defend democracy.

Fortunately, Civil War doesn’t linger too long on our star team-up.  The film mainly follows four reporters’ road trip from New York to Washington in an attempt to capture the final moments of the President’s reign.  Civil War not only paints a picture of a war torn USA, but also illustrates the deadly life of journalists who cover the wars that take place on our small little rock.  With scenes highlighting how people will take advantage of the confusion during a war, Civil War feels more like a cautionary tale; warning us that we might be headed down this path if we don’t work together to mend some bridges we have destroyed.  I walked in skeptical, and walked out a bit hopeful.

Boy Kills World

I always get excited when H. Jon Benjamin is involved in a project.  Very few actors can nail the arrogance of a character like Archer and still capture the defeatist tone of Bob from Bob’s Burgers, and H. Jon Benjamin does it all with just his voice.  So when I hear about Boy Kills World, a movie about a deaf, mute man looking to get revenge on the crime family who murdered his own family, you could say they had my curiosity.  However, when they reveal they got H. Jon Benjamin to be his inner monologue, you can say they have my attention.

Unfortunately, Boy Kills World commits two cardinal sins from the Doomsayer’s Guide to Good Movies.  The first one is the shaky cam.  Yes, Boy Kills World describes itself as a fever dream of an action film; some people might say this cartoon-like style justifies the use of shaky cam.  I, on the other hand, do not agree nor will ever feel shaky cam is warranted.  It just screams we didn’t have the budget for a proper fight choreographer.  It can’t escape feeling cheap, and you can thank The Matrix and the John Wick movies for this opinion.

Second, I just thought the twist was really weak.  To me, a good twist will leave enough bread crumbs for the twist to feel earned.  It should also change how you view the film on a second viewing, knowing the twist; see either of the Knives Out films for an example of this.  Boy Kills World’s twist doesn’t really do either of these.  Halfway through the movie, I initially guessed part of the twist.  I shrugged it off, saying they couldn’t possibly be teeing up this twist; it was just too obvious.  So naturally, when someone turned out to be connected to our protagonist and friends suddenly become enemies, my eyes couldn’t help but do backflips in my skull.  Boy Kills World is certainly not a bad action film, but with the sea of action films out there, I am more likely not picking up this one.   

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