Let’s round out the year with my final thoughts on the movies I saw in December.
The Holdovers
If you are looking for another holiday movie to watch as you and a loved one snuggle up next to the fire, may I recommend The Holdovers? This tale revolves around an aging history teacher Paul Hunham who has to watch over his students who don’t go home for the holidays. Several boys are initially held over at the private school, but Hunham is eventually left just watching Angus Tully, a student with a troubled family life. Starting off confrontational with each other, the pair eventually learn to let each other into their life and see they aren’t so different. I wouldn’t say The Holdovers is reinventing the wheel as you can probably guess the twists and turns of the movie. However, this is a fine good wheel. I easily became invested in the bond between Hunham and Tully; I was also desperately hoping for the best for them by the end. A solid Christmas film to kick off December.
Godzilla Minus One
My biggest regret of 2023 will be not seeing Godzilla Minus One in an iMax theater. This film perfectly captured Godzilla’s monstrous size and destructive power. I longed to be in a theater seat with haptic feedback so I could feel the room quake as Godzilla unleashed his devasting atomic breath attack. The sheer spectacle is enough for me to recommend this film, but an earnest story is hiding beneath the carnage. Disgraced kamikaze pilot, Koichi Shikishima, returns to post-World War II Japan, failing to both perform his duty and save an island of engineers from a Godzilla attack. Stricken with grief and despair, he is forced to make a life for himself among the wreckage. Just as he appears to be getting his life in order, Godzilla returns to terrorize Japan. Godzilla Minus One not only puts most Hollywood blockbusters to shame but has the storytelling chops to rival most indie arthouse films. Don’t be surprised to see this on many 2023 Top Movies lists.
The Boys in the Boat
I remember sitting in front of movies like Remember the Titans, Miracle, and Rudy as a child and being enraptured by the thrill of the game. Nowadays, they just don’t have that same spark. Maybe it’s my understanding of basic story structure, or maybe it’s because I know they rarely make a movie about the team that came in second. The latter is definitely the case with The Boys in the Boat, a movie about the 1936 USA rowing team that won the gold medal in the Olympics. I know this was a big moment in history, as this team went into Nazi Germany and defeated the German team in front of Hitler. However, I struggled to stay engaged with this film as I called out plot points before they happened. Sing along with me if you know the words: The team is bad. Real bad. They find a way to make it work. They start winning. A star player gets upset and walks away. Coach talks them back into it. They go to the big final event. The rich team, in this case, the Germans, tries to cheat. Our team overcomes adversities and triumphantly wins. I know you can boil down all movies into the seven archetypes of a plot, but The Boys in the Boat and many other sports movies don’t even try to hide their simplicity. If you’re a history buff or giant sports fan you might enjoy this, but I can’t help but feel like there are better sports movies.
Dream Scenario
The perfect trap was laid for The Doomsayer: an A24 film about people seeing Nicolas Cage doing weird stuff in their dreams. His ears metaphorically shot forward like a fox hearing a mouse scurrying through the field. As he walked into the theater, he was unaware of the ambush that was waiting for him. The comedy that came with having Cage play an awkward average Joe lulled him into a false sense of security. However, as Cage’s character started to act more violently in people’s dreams, The Doomsayer realized too late what the true message of Dream Scenario was: cancel culture.
I enjoyed this movie in the first half as it seemed to be a dark comedy on the effects of fame, but as Cage’s characters start to be ostracized for being violent in people’s dreams, I could see the writing on the walls. Dream Scenario argues that banishing a person will only make them dig in their heels and become defensive. A scene where Cage is asked to leave a restaurant ends with Cage physically fighting one of the restaurant patrons. I find this message frustrating because I know metaphorically canceling people doesn’t get them to turn around and agree with your opinion. More likely than not, it gets them to dig in their heels and fall in with a bad crowd. JK Rowling is living proof of this phenomenon. I believe if you want someone to change their mind, you have to approach the situation with empathy, calmly present your evidence, and give the person room to reach your point on their own. So with Dream Scenario and I having a similar opinion, the second half feels like one of those conversations with a friend where you go “Dude stop, I agree with you. You don’t need to keep hammering the point.”
Now I am stuck here wondering if I can even recommend Dream Scenario. I guess if you love Cage and can look past some clunky messaging, then you can give it a try. On the other hand, if you hate in-your-face messaging then this might not be for you.
In My Mother’s Skin
One day, I was looking at the movies at the cinema with apathy. Nothing had me itching to leave my apartment and venture to the movie theaters. Suddenly an article crossed my feed detailing the best horror movies of the year. Naturally, most of the movies were ones I had seen throughout the year, but there were some on the list I hadn’t seen. In an attempt to delay viewing Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, I rented one of the unseen horror movies. That movie was In My Mother’s Skin.
The movie takes place in the Phillippines towards the end of World War II. The situation looks dire for our protagonist, Tala, a young Philippine girl. Her father has left to seek help from the Americans, her mother’s health rapidly fading and they are slowly running out of food. She ventures into the woods where she finds a fairy who offers her food and a way to heal her mother. However, this isn’t your sunshine and rainbows fairy, but one of these mischievous fairies that eats flesh. By the time Tala realizes she is in a cautionary fairy tale, it is already too late.
I definitely wouldn’t say I regret watching In My Mother’s Skin. There are some good chilling moments such as the buzzing of cicadas getting louder and louder as Tala ventures deeper into the forest. Yet, the movie plays it pretty safe regarding some of the horror visuals. The film ultimately made me want to watch When Evil Lurks again, which is not a good sign.
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
Did you not make time to see Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom? Don’t worry you have already seen it. If you have seen anyone of the mediocre superhero movies that have lazily stumbled into theaters then you have seen this one. All the hallmarks of a bad superhero movie are on display right here. CGI that looks embarrassing when compared to the CGI in the Pirates of the Caribbean films? Check. Characters experiencing the same arc they went through in earlier movies? Check. A tone waving wildly back and forth between the end-of-the-world seriousness and Saturday morning cartoon? Check. A CGI big bad that looks like they belong in a bad PS2 game? Check. The worst sin of all this movie couldn’t be car-crash bad like The Flash; it was just mind-numbingly boring like Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom doesn’t end the DC cinematic universe with a bang, but more of a dying gurgling sound.
Deliver Us
I think myself and religious horror just don’t mix. Deliver Us was another 2023 horror film on the same article as In My Mother’s Skin that grabbed my attention. The film revolves around a priest who helps a nun who gives birth to twins through immaculate conception. A prophecy foretells that one of the twins will become the Messiah and the other will become the Anti-Christ. Personally, in that scenario, I would probably dispose of both of the twins as the risks probably don’t out way the gains. However, both the priest and the nun decide to run and hide from priests who want to try to decipher and kill the Anti-Christ. From here the Anti-Christ child uses mind games to hide his identity and to kill people who attempt to help the nun and priest protecting them. Unfortunately, after a gripping opening scene where the prophecy is carved into people’s backs and then flayed off of them, the movie doesn’t have any memorable scenes. Yes, the Anti-Christ child gets people to do their best Jack Torrance impression, but none of these scenes stick in my mind. Look I am willing to forgive characters making bad decisions in horror movies, but when a lot of it is hand-waved as an Anti-Christ child mind-controlling people, I can’t stay invested.
The Iron Claw
As I walked out of The Iron Claw I was hit with a feeling of longing for a moment in my past. The memory was Christmas time in 2019. My siblings and I met at the Pipe Dream Brewery in Londonderry, NH to have a few laughs and drinks. This was certainly not the last time my siblings and I had an event like this, but it is certainly one I look back on fondly. You are probably asking what does this have to do with The Iron Claw, a film about the Von Erich family, one of the greatest families in the history of professional wrestling. Well, the film painted a picture of a family of brothers who clearly loved each other and were tragically ripped away from each other. It made me appreciate the bonds I have with my siblings and long to have another moment like the one at Pipe Dream Brewery. I am sure wrestling fans will enjoy this movie, but this movie will speak louder to those with siblings.
The Thing
A lot of horror monsters tend to blend together, but I don’t think I can ever forget the Thing. Witnessing the dripping fleshy mess burst out of someone’s chest made me jump higher than most jumpscares this year. Considering its age, the puppetry of the Thing is impressive; I can’t get over how wet the whole thing looks. However, the scares don’t end when the Thing crawls into the vents. Watching the crew in The Thing bicker felt like I was back in those Among Us meetings trying to sus out the Imposter. Among Us seems less impressive when you learn Innersloth is copying John Carpenter’s homework. Yes, a cheap joke, but I can’t recall many horror movies this tense when the monster isn’t even on screen. Proving once again that nothing is scarier than humanity when our own skin is on the line. If John Carpenter ever gives a master class on horror, I will be the first in line.
Mad Max: Fury Road Black and Chrome Edition
This movie is an onion: every time I watch it I find a new layer to it. This time I got existential dread as I watched people lionize the villain responsible for their own misfortune. Life imitates art. Politics aside, I chose to rewatch this movie when a local theater showed the Black and Chrome Edition: a black-and-white version of the film. I wouldn’t say this is the best way to experience the film as Mad Max: Fury Road has a very striking color palette. However, scenes like the dust storm looked more intimidating as a mass of blacks and greys, and the film got me even more excited for Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga. I simply cannot wait to return to this world.
Poor Things
Despite winning a couple of Golden Globes, I could not get into this film. The premise is Dr Godwin Baxter (played by Willem Dafoe) finds a dead woman pregnant with a child in the river. Being an extraordinary scientist, he takes the brain of the child and places it in her mother’s body to bring her to life. An interesting idea that I don’t feel the movie builds upon. Initially, Bella Baxter (played by Emma Stone) acts like a toddler in an adult body, but as the film goes on it feels like they sped up age development in the brain without doing anything with the body. What would Bella’s experiences be like as someone with a twenty-year-old mind in the body of a fifty-year-old? It feels like a lot of the sci-fi elements the movie had, in the beginning, were dropped to have a woman growing up story as Bella has a rebellious phase, followed by working under capitalism phase and then settling down and taking over your father’s work phase. I just don’t feel like this movie is saying anything new. Maybe I am not the target audience for this movie, and honestly, that’s fine. However, I always feel like that’s a missed opportunity as I am always willing to give movies with a fresh perspective a chance. I just clearly don’t get this movie. Maybe you will and I will be happy for you. I’ll be over here trying to enjoy another horror movie.