This article originally ran under a different banner/website in November of 2019 and is now being here re-uploaded for purposes of convenience and consolidation. Please enjoy.
It’s a dog-eat-dog world here in this unforgiving town. One minute your king of the mountain; next you’re face down in a ditch because you banned someone being critical of China. As a private eye, I have seen it all: dirty deeds, back-alley scams, the rise of loot boxes, you name it. I thought nothing in this town could surprise me. However the universe seems to get its jollies from proving me a fool, and today it certainly had something special in mind.
On a cold rainy day, there was a knock on my door, and a guy stumbling through it. Poor joe looked like he was at his wit’s end. His eyes were bloodshot and tired. Hair was all mangled like he was trying to pull it out of his skull. Guy looked like he had been leaving his bed cold. Long nights at the office, perhaps. He was fighting back tears as he tried to speak. I pour him a shot of whiskey. As he took the shot, I could see a weight lift off his chest. He told me how his marriage was falling apart right before his very eyes. His wife had gone cold and distant. He tried flowers, chocolate, and a night out on the town, but his usual tricks weren’t working.
After telling him, I was a private eye, not a marriage counselor, he swore I was the only one who could solve his problem. He claimed what his marriage needed was a video game. I was about to suggest him a shrink, but I calmly listened as sipped my own glass of whiskey. He claimed that he met his wife at the arcade. They had bonded over classic beat’em titles like The Simpson’s Arcade Game and X-Men Arcade Game. He felt some classic couch co-op with a beat’em up title could help bridge his marriage. He knew if anyone could find a game like that, Private Eye Doomsayer could.
I told him it wouldn’t be easy. Arcade beat’em ups had become a relic of the past. Publishers weren’t interested in them because it is difficult to turn them into cut-rate sandboxes or an online live service. This wild goose chase wasn’t going to be cheap, I told him. He slammed a fat stack of twenties on my desk, saying he pay any price to save his marriage. I accepted the job, gave him another shot of whiskey for the road, and went to work looking for this needle in a haystack.
I began reaching out to my contacts. Much like my initial reaction, everyone I talked to was left bewildered. Everyone asked me when was the last time I played a beat’em. I usually scratch my head and ask when Castle Crasher came out. It wasn’t until one of my contacts met me in a dark alley. He informed me that he got his hands on a rare physical copy of a game called River City Girls. Taking place in the Kunio-Kun/Double Dragon universe, the game revolves around protagonists Misako and Kyoko trying to solve the mystery of who kidnapped their boyfriends, Kunio and Riki. In traditional arcade beat’em fashion, they attempt to find their boyfriends by beating up everyone in River City.
Before my informant slipped back into the shadows, I was able to make the exchange. As I placed the disc in my PS4, I noticed the anime aesthetic. Now I have nothing against anime, but it is certainly not my cup of tea. I initially worried the style would grade on my patience, but the opening cutscene washed those worries away. We open our duo discovering their boyfriends being kidnapped while in detention, or at least Misako was in detention. Turns out Kyoko doesn’t even go to this school. The scene is delivered in black and white manga-style panels that makes River City Girls feel like a manga rather than traditional anime. The cutscenes are woven in with the gameplay which resembles a pixelated NES style beat’em up. Throw in colorful and animated boss intros, and you have a very styled and vibrant game.
As I continued through River City Girls, I wish I could have the writers for Control and Wolfenstein: Youngblood beside me taking notes. Much like Jesse from Control, Misako and Kyoko are trying to rescue people who we haven’t met. However, River City Girls gives the duo more things to say besides how much they miss their boyfriends. They frequently exchange dialogue while rampaging through River City. Unlike the Blazkowicz twin, Misako and Kyoko have personalities that help distinguish them from each other. I remember one of the Blazkowicz twins wanted to be a writer, but I couldn’t tell you which one. Misako is brash and headstrong, while Kyoko is a bit dim-witted but sweet nonetheless. I can close my eyes and know who’s talking even if they swapped voice actresses. Something I definitely couldn’t do in Wolfenstein: Youngblood. With defined personalities and solid friendship between the two, I became invested in helping them save two characters I knew nothing about.
Combat starts out pretty standard for a beat’em up title. You have you jump, light attack, and heavy attack. You can chain various combinations to create moves like the volley spikes and German suplex. You soon unlock a charge bar that allows you to perform special attacks like a Handstand Kick and Dragon Feet. You can also use objects like bats and chains in classic beat’em up fashion. As you beat up the citizens of River City, you accumulate money that you can spend at various locations. You can purchase food to restore your health, items to improve your combat, and moves from the dojos. With the addition of special moves, River City Girl’s combat soon expands into an intense brawler. However, River City Girl is plagued by the classic 2.5d beat’em frustration that comes from missing attack because you weren’t lined up perfectly with your opponent. While my blood pressure rose as Kyoko missed an attack due to being too close to the screen, I can’t deny the satisfaction I got from pounding River City thugs into the dirt.
Developers, WayForward, were clearly not satisfied with just creating a standard beat’em up title. With a burning desire to push the genre forward, they added a couple of additional mechanics to River City Girls. For starters, they introduce the ability to recruit one of your foes. Occasionally, the last enemy on-screen will drop to their knees and beg for their pathetic lives. If you show them mercy, you can recruit them to fight for you. You can summon your new recruits to perform quick roundhouse kicks or throw gas cans. If you’re skilled enough, you can even time it so they take hits instead of you.
The second addition is equipable items that provide passive buffs. The items range from strong to situational, but they are all varied enough that it probably comes down to play styles or different scenarios. With my choice of two items, I often went with the item that gave me an extra second of invulnerability after being hit and a second situational item. I frequently switched between items that gave me extra damage vs male or female foes depending on the boss.
Speaking of bosses, River City Girls has a colorful cast of bosses to try and beat up. After an anime-style intro, you are thrusted into a fight and are quickly forced to deduce the boss’s strategy and how to counter it. While I do like these fights as they capture the satisfaction that comes from beating a boss in Dark Souls, I would say be prepared to get your face smeared across the pavement on your first few attempts, just like Dark Souls. Also, be prepared to have new genres like bullet hells and rhythm challenges be thrown into the mix of these boss fights. My biggest advice for the bosses is to spend all your money before you go fight a boss. While satisfying to finally down the boss like you finally beat your elementary school bully, it is going to take you a couple of times, and each death means you lose a bit of the money you have earned. It would have been awesome if a Shovel Knight money recovery system was available, but that would be something WayForward would have to consider for the sequel.
While I was enjoying my time with River City Girls, I couldn’t help but conclude from numerous deaths from bosses and random mobs, that the game was quite hard. I phoned up the client to let him know the situation. He told me that time was of the essence so he had no choice but to try out River City Girls with me. As we began to play co-op, I began to notice something strange, neither one of us was dying. The first boss who killed me ten times appeared to be no match in co-op. The number of enemies the game spawned seemed to be the same whether it was single-player or co-op. On top of that, you can also recover your fallen ally. I immediately thought back to Just Shapes and Beats, the game that was brutal solo, but almost a cakewalk in co-op. The client didn’t care. We were having a blast. We felt the childlike glee of inviting a friend over to play games on an N64. After an hour, he burst into tears saying the game was perfect and swearing it would save his marriage. He threw an envelope full of cash at me and sprinted home to download the game himself.
As I sit here on my desk, scotch in one hand and my copy of River City Girls in the other, I begin to contemplate my feelings on this game. It really does annoy me when a game presents nearly the same challenge for both single-player and co-op. In single-player, I found myself being constantly juggled around like a new inmate at a prison, but with a co-op partner, the table turns as we become kings of the madhouse. It can be a bit frustrating having to tweak one’s combat style to maximize knocking as many people around so you can fight one guy at a time, but surprisingly, it can be rewarding when you do pull it off. So even with the gulf in difficulty between solo and co-op, the charm, color, and visceral satisfaction of River City Girls is enough to recommend for a lonely challenge seeker or someone hoping to repair a relationship. An overall happy ending, a rare sight in this bleak oppressive town. I’ll sincerely take them when I can.