This article originally ran under a different banner/website in July of 2018 and is now being here re-uploaded for purposes of convenience and consolidation. Please enjoy.
ROLL UP!!! ROLL UP!!! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! BOYS AND GIRLS!!! DO I HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU!!! I, THE VIDEO GAME DOOMSAYER, AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE MY NEW OCCUPATION!!! Yes, no longer will I be standing on a soapbox shouting at all of you. No, I am now the RINGLEADER OF THE EA CIRCUS!!! In an attempt to shed the corporate overlord image, EA has rebranded itself as a fun family-friendly circus. Of course, who better to spread the excitement of the EA Circus, than someone who has criticized the company for their past anti-consumer practices. If EA can turn over a new leaf, why shouldn’t I be able to change my stance on them? I have retired my ratty Doomsayer rags and embraced the new wardrobe consisting of a stylish red jacket and top hat. As Ringleader, I will be at the helm of the marvelous spectacles EA has to offer. With that in mind, I have wonderful news for YOU!!! YES YOU!!! The EA Circus will be making its first stop directly in your town. How wonderfully convenient for you sketipal viewers. Please, I invite you to come on down to the big top and let all your cares float freely away.
You’re just in time folks. The BIoware acrobats are about to do death defying stunts for your entertainment. We, at the EA Circus, demand these developers work tirelessly day and night to perfect these tricks, especially their newest trick, Anthem. We wouldn’t want these developers to end up like the Visceral necromorph trainers, now would we? What do we have here? One of the Bioware acrobats is here to say a couple of words to us. What is that, my high diving acrobatic friend; you don’t think Mass Effect: Andromeda got a fair shot having to compete with Nier, Nioh, Horizon Zero Dawn, and Zelda: Breath of the Wild? Some worthy competition indeed, Mr. Acrobat, but I would argue, with the exception of Zelda, the Mass Effect name carries a lot of weight. If Mass Effect: Andromeda was a brilliant game, players would have flocked to that game; MUCH LIKE PEOPLE FLOCK TO THE EA CIRCUS. No, standards for Mass Effect writing and animations were clearly not met, and critics and gamers made that clear. What confuses me is if the release window for Mass Effect Andromeda was so tight, why not delay its release? The shareholders won’t be happy? Wait a minute… that’s not something an acrobat would say. I think what we have here is a clown in disguised.
Speaking of clowns, here comes the leader of the clowns, Patrick Söderlund. I have been hearing you make some ridiculous claims. Especially ones about Command and Conquer fans not knowing what they truly want. Let’s take a look at what you said Mr. Söderlund:
“For us, I think people make the mistake of saying, ‘This is what you really want.’ Mobile is the biggest gaming platform on the planet today. When the team came up with the construct of the game and we realized that there was a great fit for the C&C brand and we could make the game better as a result, that just felt like the next natural step. RTS games are still relevant in the market and for the most part PC-based, but if you can get a successful multiplayer, competitive-type RTS game to work well on mobile, we believe that could reach hundreds of millions of players in the world. That’s what motivates us to do it.”
Oh, how rich! Like a custard pie full of nails to the face. Maybe nobody is laughing for a couple of reasons. One, everyone remembers how EA treated Dungeon Keeper Mobile, a shell of Bullfrog Production’s old strategy game that told players to pay up or wait 24 hours to mine out one square. Maybe, Command and Conquer fans know that you have sat on the license for six years only to slap it onto another mobile game design to milk consumer’s wallet’s dry similar to what Dungeon Keeper Mobile did. The legendary Command and Conquer, once a mighty lion in the RTS market, not defang and forced to become a copycat. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Second, you even admit it in your statement, that RTS games are at home on the PC, but you willingly put it on mobile just to get it in front of more players. Possibly hoping to catch a few whales Mr. Söderlund? It is the only reason I could think to a genre generally known for strict micromanaging and throw it onto a platform with the worst method of control: the touch screen.
Oh why the long face Mr. Söderlund, you don’t like being the sad clown? You don’t think we are being fair to you Mr. Söderlund? You think we should be fair to Command and Conquer Rivals? I don’t think you were very fair to Dungeon Keeper fans when you turned their beloved series into a pay-to-win mobile game to chase the Clash of Clans trend infesting the mobile market. Oh what is that Mr. Söderlund? You have a comment on fairness in games. The stage is yours:
“You have to look at it from the perspective of what’s fair. Fair is the number one thing. When you buy a product from us, you should get full value for the money you spend. There should be a fair game economy in the game so you can’t pay to win. We don’t want you to be able to pay your way to be better than others. That’s important to us.”
Interesting thought Mr. Söderlund. So, that means that you are removing the Ultimate Team Mode from FIFA 19 or Madden 19. No? You feel like partaking in those moods is player choice. Doesn’t it seem a bit hypocritical to say your against pay-to-win if it continues to persist in your games. I guess it isn’t when you make $650 million dollars from Ultimate Team Modes. Maybe it is time I demote Mr. Söderlund from clown to carnie. He can run all the rigged carnival games designed to steal children’s money. That sure seems fitting.
Oh who am I kidding. EA won’t change. A tiger can never change its stripes, just like a corporation can’t stop it’s greed driven ways. Is EA learning from their mistakes with Mass Effect Andromeda and Battlefront 2 or can they only think about all the money from the whales? They can take away all the loot boxes from Battlefield and Anthem all they want, but they will never remove them from their mobile or sports games. Did they only remove the loot boxes from Battlefield and Anthem cause they know gamers wouldn’t stand for it? With Bioware employees, like 22 year veteran James Ohlen, leaving the studio, I don’t think EA has learned to stop pushing the envelope with their studios or customers. Maybe I should take EA’s unwillingness to change as a sign. If they aren’t willing to stop their greed fueled rampage; why should I stop railing against them? Much like the candy, popcorn, and big top tent, this is all a sham. A front to keep customers content as they drain their wallets. This suit, this ringleader suit. It is part of that lie. A lie that I can no longer be a part of. As of today, I resign as the Ringleader of the EA Circus, and will return to my soapbox immediately. To you, carnival patrons, I bid you a good day.
Oh, one last thing: Don’t Preorder Anthem!!!
Sources:
Sinclair, Brendan. “For EA and Loot Boxes, ‘Fair Is the Number One Thing.’” Games Industry Biz, 21 June 2018, https://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2018-06-21-for-ea-and-loot-boxes-fair-is-the-number-one-thing.
Sinclair, Brendan. “‘People Make the Mistake of Saying, ‘This Is What You Really Want'”.” Games Industry Biz, www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2018-06-25-people-make-the-mistake-of-saying-this-is-what-you-really-want.
